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Snark City - Product Index

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" DON'T HAVE THE BLOOD-ALCOHOL LEVEL TO DEAL WITH YOU TODAY."
"...ONE DRINK AWAY FROM TELLING EVERYONE WHAT I REALLY THINK"
"2 WORDS, 1 FINGER."
"4 YEARS PAST MY BEDTIME"
"99% H APPY FOR YOU" + "...1% JEALOUS"
"99% SURE MY SOULMATE IS A DOG"
"A LATE BIRTHDAY CARD..." + "...IS BETTER THAN A LATE PERIOD"
"ADULT-ISH"
"AFTER TUESDAY, EVEN THE CALENDAR SAYS WTF"
"AFTER TUESDAY, EVEN THE CALENDAR SAYS WTF"
"ALL IN A DAY" 2 PC BUTTON SET
"ALTHOUGH THE VOICES AREN'T REAL, THEY HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS"
"ALTHOUGH THE VOICES AREN'T REAL, THEY'VE GOT SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS."
"ALTHOUGH THE VOICES AREN'T REALY, THEY HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS"
"AM I THE LAST SANE PERSON ON THIS PLANET?"
"BAD HAIR DAY"
"BAD IDEA... WHAT TIME?"
"BETTER YOU THAN ME" + "GET WELL SOON!"
"BITCHES BE SIPPIN' "
"BITCHES LOVE ME"
"BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"
"BONE APPETIT"
"BOSS"
"BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP"
"CARPE DIEM... I THINK I SEIZED THE WRONG DAMN DAY."
"CHUG IT LIKE IT'S WINE"
"CLASSY SASSY & A LITTLE BIT SMART ASSY"
"CONDOMS PREVENT MINIVANS"
"CUTE BUT PSYCHO"
"CUTE DOESN'T COVER CRAZY"
"DAMN RIGHT I'M GOOD IN BED, I CAN SLEEP FOR DAYS"
"DAMN RIGHT I'M GOOD IN BED, I CAN SLEEP FOR DAYS"
"DAMN, I'M CUTE"
"DINNER IS POURED"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I RISE + SHINE?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I RISE + SHINE?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I RISE + SHINE?"
"DO NOT... DISTURB"
"DOGS ARE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE"
"DOGS HAVE OWNERS, CATS HAVE STAFF."
"DOGS HAVE OWNERS, CATS HAVE STAFF."
"DOGS WELCOME, PEOPLE TOLERATED."
"DON'T FOLLOW ME, I DO STUPID SHIT..."
"DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. KEEP SLEEPING."
"DRINK DRANK DRUNK" WATER BOTTLE
"DRINK YOUR EFFING WATER"
"DRINKS WELL WITH OTHERS"
"DRINKS WELL WITH OTHERS"
"EVERYTHING I LIKE IS EITHER EXPENSIVE, ILLEGAL, OR WON'T TEXT ME BACK."
"EXERCISE MAKES YOU LOOK BETTER NAKED. SO DOES WINE. YOUR CHOICE."
"FANCY A HUMP?"
"FIX YO' FACE"
"GIVE ME COFFEE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND WINE TO ACCEPT THE THOSE THAT I CANNOT"
"GOOD LUCK" + "YOU'LL FREAKIN NEED IT"
"GOOD MORNING AMERICA, WHAT ARE YOU OFFENDED BY TODAY?"
"GOOD MORNING WORLD! YOUR LITTLE RAY OF SARCASTIC SUNSHINE HAS ARRIVED."
"GROWN ASS WOMAN"
"HAD TO CLEAN MY HOUSE FOR 2 HOURS JUST TO TELL MY GUESTS 'SORRY FOR THE MESS' "
"HANDS OFF" + "WE ALL HAVE BAGGAGE"
"HANGRY BITCH"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" + "DEATH HAS NEVER BEEN CLOSER"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" + "YOU LITTLE RAY OF SARCASTIC SUNSHINE"
"HATERS GONNA HATE"
"HEAVILY MEDICATED FOR YOUR SAFETY"
"HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" + "MINE, NOT YOURS"
"HOLY CRAP!" + "YOU'RE OLD!"
"HOT MESS"
"I CAN'T EVEN"
"I CAN'T EVEN"
"I CAN'T HAVE KIDS, MY DOG IS ALLERGIC"
"I COULD GIVE UP SHOPPING, BUT I'M NOT A QUITTER."
"I DAYDREAM WHILE DRIVING AND WONDER.... HOW IN THE WORLD DID I MAKE IT HOME?"
"I DO WHATEVER THE LITTLE VOICES TELL ME TO DO."
"I DO YOGA TO RELIEVE STRESS. JUST KIDDING, I DRINK WINE IN YOGA PANTS."
"I DON'T GIVE A SIP!"
"I DON'T HATE PEOPLE, I JUST LIKE DOGS BETTER."
"I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH COFFEE..."
"I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. OR PEOPLE"
"I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT, I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP PISSING ME OFF"
"I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT"
"I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY. I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT"
"I DON'T THINK MY INNER CHILD IS EVER MOVING OUT!!"
"I DON'T THINK MY INNER CHILD IS EVER MOVING OUT."
"I FOLLOWED MY HEART AND IT LED ME TO THE FRIDGE"
"I GOTTA GOOD HEART, BUT THIS MOUTH...."
"I HAD TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE TODAY..."
"I HATE BEING LATE, BUT I'M DAMN GOOD AT IT."
"I HAVE A CONDITION THAT PREVENTS ME FROM GOING ON A DIET...I GET HUNGRY"
"I HAVE NEVER FAKED A SARCASM IN MY LIFE"
"I HAVE NEVER FAKED A SARCASM."
"I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS DAY. (I DO HOWEVER, HAVE A TON OF OBSCENE GESTURES)"
"I LOVE BIG MUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE"
"I MADE A HUGE TO DO LIST FOR TODAY. I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHO IS GOING TO DO IT."
"I MAKE POUR DECISIONS"
"I MIGHT BE CRAZY... BUT AT LEAST I KEEP IT FUN"
"I MIGHT LOOK LIKE I AM DOING NOTHING, BUT IN MY HEAD, I AM QUITE BUSY."
"I NEED A 6 MONTH VACATION. TWICE A YEAR." + "DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK"
"I RUN ENTIRELY ON CAFFEINE + INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS"
"I RUN ENTIRELY ON CAFFEINE, SARCASM, + INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS."
"I WANT TO BE A NICE PERSON, BUT EVERYONE IS JUST SO STUPID"
"I WANT TO BE A NICE PERSON... BUT EVERYONE IS JUST SO STUPID"
"I WILL LOSE THIS AT THE BAR TONIGHT"
"I WISH I WAS AS THIN AS MY PATIENCE"
"I WORK HARD SO MY DOG CAN HAVE A BETTER LIFE"
"I WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I DO NOT CARE"
"I WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I DO NOT CARE"
"I WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I DO NOT CARE"
"I'D LOVE TO BUT MY DOG SAYS NO"
"I'D LOVE TO BUT MY DOG SAYS NO"
"IF FOUND EMPTY PLEASE REFILL"
"IF I BLOCKED YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND YOU SEE ME IN REAL LIFE THE BLOCK STILL APPLIES"
"IF I CAN'T BE A GOOD EXAMPLE, I'LL HAVE TO BE A HORRIBLE WARNING"
"IF I CAN'T BE A GOOD EXAMPLE, I'LL HAVE TO BE A HORRIBLE WARNING."
"IF ONLY SARCASM BURNED CALORIES"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU'RE TOO CLOSE"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS... BRING ME A BEER"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS... GO AWAY"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS.... BRIN ME SOME WINE"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS.... GET OFF MY ASS!"
"I'M A LOVER, NOT A BITER
"I'M NOT ACTUALLY FUNNY I'M JUST MEAN AND PEOPLE THINK I'M JOKING"
"I'M NOT ALWAYS A BITCH, SOMETIMES I'M ASLEEP"
"I'M NOT ALWAYS A BITCH... SOMETIMES I'M ASLEEP"
"I'M NOT ANTISOCIAL, I'M PRO-LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE"
"I'M NOT LAZY, I'M ON ENERGY SAVING MODE"
"I'M NOT RUDE. I JUST SAY WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING."
"I'M NOT SINGLE. I HAVE A CAT."
"I'M NOT SINGLE. I HAVE A DOG."
"I'M ONLY TALKING TO MY CAT TODAY"
"I'M SILENTLY CORRECTING YOUR GRAMMAR"
"I'M SILENTLY CORRECTING YOUR GRAMMAR"
"I'M SILENTLY CORRECTING YOUR GRAMMAR"
"I'M SMILING... THAT SHOULD SCARE YOU"
"I'M THE REASON WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS"
"IN DOG BEERS, I'VE ONLY HAD ONE"
"IN MY DEFENSE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED"
"IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED"
"IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED"
"IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED"
"IN OUR FAMILY... WE DON'T HIDE CRAZY... WE PUT IT ON THE FRONT PORCH AND GIVE IT A COCKTAIL."
"IN YOUR DREAMS
"IT'S ALL SHITS + GIGGLES UNTIL SOMEONE GIGGLES + SHITS"
"IT'S BETTER TO ARRIVE LATE THAN TO ARRIVE UGLY"
"IT'S BETTER TO ARRIVE LATE, THAN TO ARRIVE UGLY."
"IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE, I DO WHAT I WANT. THE END."
"I'VE BEEN NAUGHTY... AND IT WAS WORTH IT"
"JUST BECAUSE I'M AWAKE DOESN'T MEAN I'M READY TO DO THINGS."
"JUST FILE IT UNDER 'WHO CARES' "
"KEEP HONKING, I'M RELOADING"
"LEAVE ME ALONE"
"LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M ONLY TALKING TO MY CAT TODAY."
"LESS PEOPLE MORE DOGS"
"LET'S DRINK WINE AND JUDGE PEOPLE"
"LET'S JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS RIGHT"
"LIFE HAPPENS WINE HELPS"
"LIST OF PEOPLE I LIKE: 1. MY CAT"
"LIST OF THINGS I'M HANDLING WELL. 1. "
"MAY CONTAIN ALCOHOL"
"MAYBE IT'S THE WINE TALKING BUT I WANT MORE WINE"
"MAYBE SWEARING WILL HELP"
"MONDAY MUST BE A MAN. IT COMES TOO FAST."
"MOTIVATED BY CANINES + CAFFEINE"
"MOTIVATED BY CATS AND CAFFEINE"
"MY DOG IS A FARTER NOT A FIGHTER."
"MY FANTASY IS HAVING TWO MEN AT ONCE... ONE COOKING, ONE CLEANING."
"MY HEAD SAYS GYM, BUT MY HEART SAYS TACOS"
"MY LEVEL OF SARCASM IS TO A POINT WHERE I DO'NT EVEN KNOW IF I'M KIDDING OR NOT."
"MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT DERAILED AND THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS."
"NEED SLEEP"
"NEED. MORE. SLEEP."
"NEED. MORE. SLEEP."
"NEED. MORE. SLEEP."
"NEED. MORE. SLEEP."
"NEEDY AF"
"NETFLIX... CHILL"
"NEVER MIND ME, BEWARE OF MY OWNER"
"NOPE NOT TODAY"
"NOT LISTENING"
"NOT TODAY SATAN"
"NOT YOUR SUNSHINE"
"NOT... TODAY"
"OBLIGATORY THANK YOU CARD"
"OFF LIMITS" 2 PC BUTTON SET
"OFF... DUTY"
"ONCE YOU GO BLACK, YOU NEER GO BACK."
"ONE CAT SHORT OF CRAZY"
"ONE DRINK AWAY FROM TELLING EVERYONE WHAT I REALLY DRINK"
"ONLY TRUST PEOPLE THAT LIKE BIG BUTTS, THEY CANNOT LIE"
"OUT OF MY MIND... BACK IN FIVE MINUTES"
"PET MORE, TALK LESS."
"PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS, MY DOG IS AN ASSHOLE"
"PLEASE MAKE THE STUPID PEOPLE SHUT UP"
"PLEASE MAKE THE STUPID PEOPLE SHUT UP"
"PRETENDING TO BE A MATURE ADULT IS EXHAUSTING"
"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. YOU'VE GOT BITCHES TO BATTLE & MEN TO DESTROY."
"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER..." + "YOU'VE GOT BITCHES TO BATTLE & MEN TO DESTROY"
"RANDOM CRAP INSIDE" + "NOT YOUR SUITCASE"
"RANDOM CRAP"
"RELAX. I'M FIXED."
"ROLL ME IN FAIRY DUST AND CALL ME A UNICORN"
"ROLL ME IN FAIRY DUST AND CALL ME A UNICORN."
"ROLL ME IN FAIRY DUST.... AND CALL ME A UNICORN"
"RUNNIN' ON COFFEE + CUSS WORDS"
"RUNNIN' ON COFFEE + CUSS WORDS"
"RUNNIN' ON COFFEE + CUSS WORDS"
"SARCASM IS MY SUPERPOWER"
"SARCASM IS MY SUPERPOWER"
"SARCASTIC + BITCHY" 2 PC BUTTON SET
"SCREW PERFECTION"
"SCREW PERFECTION"
"SECURITY"
"SEX?"
"SHH... NO ONE CARES"
"SIPPITY DOO DAH SIPPITY YAY!"
"SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK"
"SLIGHTLY DRAMATIC"
"SOME DAYS I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER..."
"SORRY IF I LOOK INTERESTED, I'M NOT"
"SORRY I'M LATE! MY CAT WAS SLEEPING ON MY LAP."
"SORRY I'M LATE, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE"
"SORRY I'M LATE. I DIDN'T WANT TO COME."
"SQUATS. NO ONE RAPS ABOUT LITTLE BUTTS."
"SQUIRREL PATROL"
"STOP GLOBAL WHINING"
"STOP GRABBING ME LIKE THAT!" + "WILL WORK FOR TRAVEL"
"STOP PETTING MY PEEVES"
"TAKE MY ADVICE, I'M NOT USING IT"
"THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE EVERYONE CAN KISS MY ASS"
"THE STRUGGLE IS REAL"
"THE STRUGGLE IS REAL"
"THE WEEKENDER" 2 PC BUTTON SET
"THERE'S NO NEED TO DRIVE ME CRAZY, I'M CLOSE ENOUGH TO WALK"
"THERE'S PROBABLY CAT HAIR IN THIS"
"THIS COULD BE VODKA"
"TODAY I REFUSE TO GIVE A SHIT"
"TODAY'S MOOD: BITCHY WITH A CHANCE OF SARCASM"
"TOO GLAM TO GIVE A DAMN"
"TRUTH SERUM"
"TURNS OUT I'M NOT AN AFTERNOON PERSON EITHER"
"VACATION CALORIES DON'T COUNT" + "ARE WE THERE YET?"
"WARNING! I CAN'T HOLD MY LICKER"
"WELL AREN'T YOU JUST A FUN FILLED LITTLE LOLLIPOP DIPPED IN PSYCHO!"
"WE'RE GETTING PIZZAS AFTER THIS"
"WHAT HAPPENED... LAST NIGHT?"
"WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT PEOPLE ARE THEIR DOGS"
"WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME, DON'T"
"WHATEVER"
"WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT MY DRIVING..... BUT DID YOU DIE?"
"WHISKEY MAKES ME FRISKY"
"WINE BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD TO KEEP THINGS BOTTLED UP"
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